I am a Libra and there is always a flip side to every argument – keeping the balance in me. Here is a truth wrought by this balancing act. I have this guilt in me, that if I don’t follow through with my plan some scorn will befall me and I will not be trusted. I’m not sure what that is, where it came from, but it drives me. And when I don’t meet my plan I judge myself as failed. Then there is the part of me that wants to play, shun the responsibilities and enjoy myself in a ‘who cares if I get anything done, it can wait’ state of mind. As long as no one knows I have been goofing off, what does it matter? I work this balance back and forth, and eventually I actually do accomplish things and have a good time in spite of it all.
And so it goes when it comes to art work. Yes, it is work. Most of the time I can’t wait to have time for it. Sometimes I can’t bring myself to do it. Even if I do have time art requires an energy that isn’t always there. I anticipate my days in the studio with zeal, and sometimes I get there and nothing happens. I am stuck in this inert zone hampered by lack of continuity. Too much time passed since all those ideas were brewing. Or my energy is low and making things is such a chore. It is disappointing to have this happen when I waited all week for that time.
With Art-A-Day there is the same art guilt. Still, I do it when I can and try to be happy with that. The past few months the frequency has been closer to once a week than once a day. That can change with summer coming on.
Most of this latest work has been in a Stillman and Birn Alpha Series sketchbook 6×9 size. I like the texture of this paper. Here are the entries for April and most of May. Click on any image to see them in slide show format with descriptions.